Four steps to generating the feelings you WANT
I hear you. "Wait, so you're telling me I can "generate" the feelings I want?"
I sure am!
"But how am I supposed to do that Erika? I mean, look at all the shit that's going on in my life right now."
Think of it like this, a power plant doesn't GET energy... it GENERATES energy and you can do the same thing with your feelings.
So how do we GENERATE the feelings we want?
My guess is you're thinking, "Did you hear me the first time? There's just alot of crap going on and that's why I FEEL this way."
Well, actually you FEEL this way because of how you're thinking about the "crap".
Stick with me here!
Did you know that nothing has to change for you to feel better? To generate new feelings? True Story!
Here's how it works:
Step 1: First, you have to decide you don't like feeling like this. Lets be honest, if you like feeling this way you're not going to do a damn thing to change it. So if it's too painful to stay there, you'll do what it takes to change. So DECIDE you don't like feeling that way. On the flip-side, if you DO like feeling that way, great, stay there!
Step 2: Write down (pen and paper or electronically) what you're making the "crap" mean. Every single crappy thing. What are you making it mean? For example, the crappy situation is: you work for the worlds most inconsiderate, unresponsive boss who hasn't displayed any level of leadership since the day you went to work for them. And you make that mean that they suck and you don't want to work for them. BUT it doesn't actually mean anything about YOU. It's really about that person.
Step 3: Decide how you would RATHER feel about all of those crappy things. If we go back to that crappy boss scenario; you might rather feel indifferent about him/her. Indifferent is ok. Indifferent is better than being pissed off and unhappy! You might even decide you'd like to be HAPPY working for this idiot!
Step 4: GO AHEAD, DO IT! The fastest way to generate the feelings you want is to change your THOUGHTS about the situation. The most dangerous drug on the plant is not heroin, it's the toxic drug of negative thoughts. So if we have a shitty boss, we have options; 1) quit working for him/her, or 2) get a better attitude. If you've selected option 2, it's time to start generating some new thoughts about this person. How do you WANT to feel about him/her? Write it down. Your brain has probably worn a deep path thinking "he/she is a fucking idiot" (I know, I've done it) so it will take some time and some training to rewire this thinking. But the power plant doesn't GET energy, it GENERATES it. So you'll have to generate the thoughts and thus, the feelings you want.
What shitty situation are you dealing with? Write in the comments and lets talk about how to deal with it!
Or put some time on my calendar and lets dig into it one-on-one. I'm here for ya!
complementary coaching session
xo
Erika