This Is Hard
I’ve said these things dozens of times in my life:
It feels like it’s never going to end.
Maybe it won’t.
I don’t know what I’m going to do next.
I feel like I should know, but I don’t. Where do I go from here?
How will I pay for this?
What if I can’t pay for this?
What if they don’t like me?
I miss my friends.
I miss feeling safe.
What if it happens again?
What if I never recover?
What if I’m never happy again?
What if I never go to bed and feel like it’s going to be okay in the morning?
This is so damn hard.
So was going through the front windshield of a car in high school.
So was missing out on fun things with your friends while you recovered and had surgeries and got sick all the time.
So was the first day of college when you didn’t know anyone.
So was moving far away to a place you didn’t know and living with a person you didn’t like.
So was being slapped across the face so hard the first time you fell to the ground crying in agony.
So was moving across the country, or even across town.
So was being told you were stupid, that no one would ever love you, that you’d never make it on your own.
So was your parents divorce and your family imploding before your very eyes.
So was starting over. Again and again.
So was abruptly getting laid off with no warning and no plan.
So was getting a divorce, living alone, scared and in emotional pain.
So was going to therapy and telling a perfect stranger all the fucked up things in your life.
So was buying a car without anyone’s help.
So was investing thousands of dollars you didn’t have to learn from the best coaches in the country.
So was starting to date again and breaking up with a narcissistic asshole.
So was allowing yourself to truly and deeply fall in love, and know that it would be okay, that no matter what, you would be okay.
So was admitting you were depressed and needed help when the dark, heavy world was too much to carry on your own.
So was writing this blog post to expose MY truths.
When it was really hard, and I was really scared, and I didn’t know what to do next. When I didn’t think there was a way out and feeling like I’d never be happy again. Guess what. I survived.
I survived 100% of the hard things that were meant to break me.
I survived by praying for guidance and wisdom.
I survived by trusting my intuition, making decisions and believing in myself.
I survived by taking care of my mind and my body when I needed it.
I survived by leaning on friends and family who loved and supported me no matter what hard thing I was going through.
I survived by remembering how strong I am, how hard I can fight, how damn powerful I am when I decide to go get what I want.
I survived because of amazing books like Gifts of Imperfection, Start with Why, Love Warrior, Everything Is Figureoutable, and the Four Laws of Love.
I survived because I found a coach who asked me hard questions to make me think differently.
I survived because God gave me a man who was patient and kind and when he held me all the broken pieces came back together.
I survived because I can do hard things. So can you.