The “Messy Middle” and what you can do about it

A woman who I truly love and admire said to me, “you are so strong in who you are.” And it’s true, I am. But I haven’t always been this way. There was a very (VERY) messy middle. You know, the part where your whole life sucks ass, you have no idea what to do and no idea where to even start to get your shit together. That part. That’s the messy middle.

It was sort of a disaster. Ok, lets be honest, it was a complete disaster.

My Messy Middle was:

  • Where I tried my best to perform and please everyone.
  • Where I was sure that as long as I appeared to be perfect, people would like me and maybe even love me.
  • Where I totally lost sight of who I was and what I believed in.
  • Where I felt fear and sadness more often than not.
  • Where I was depressed and couldn’t find joy in anything.
  • Where my anxiety would create elaborate stories in my head about MORE terrible things that might happen.

See, told you…disaster!

But the Messy Middle is also where the magic happens.

  • Where you learn how to be stronger than you’ve ever been before.
  • Where you read and journal and talk your way through your challenges.
  • Where you learn how to stand a little taller, dance a little faster, and savor sweet moments a little more.
  • Where you practice being vulnerable and find out you can still be loved.
  • Where you find out being imperfect is actually perfect.
  • And where you fully embrace who you are instead of who you think you should be.

It was in the Messy Middle that I found insightful and life-altering books like Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck and The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.

Where I found a life coach who didn’t buy into my bullshit stories and was hard on me by pushing me outside of my comfort zone while simultaneously showing me grace and kindness. And ultimately why I decided to become a coach myself.

Where I learned about The Model from Brooke Castillo and that it wasn’t my circumstances making me unhappy, it was my thoughts.

Perhaps most importantly, it’s where I

  • Became a better daughter, sister, and friend.
  • Uncovered a woman who was wholehearted enough to love myself and accept love into my life from someone else.
  • Found joy and happiness in even the smallest things.

So if you’re in the messy middle right now, first of all I’m proud of you for recognizing it. Second, it gets so much better from here! I know it may not feel like it right now but rest assured, there is HOPE and there is HELP.


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