Yes. You. Can.
Five years ago on my 35th birthday I was sitting alone in a tiny one-bedroom apartment with little more than what I could fit into a small van. I had consciously decided to end a marriage and start over. It was one of the most brave decisions I’ve ever made. Also: terrifying.
I was, more or less, all alone and really had no idea what what would come next. Just in case you thought big girls don’t cry, I’m here to tell you: that’s complete horse shit. We do. I sat in my empty 50sf living room, all alone on my birthday, and cried wondering if anyone really loved me. If anyone would EVER really love me. If I would ever love myself and truly be happy.
It’s good to feel what you want to feel. Cry your face off every once in a while; it’s good for you!! Then, adjust your crown sweetheart - you, my friend, can do, be, have, love, give, own, sell, eliminate and wish for anything your heart desires, even when you're starting alone and with nothing.
5 Things In 5 Years
After a really ugly cry (reeeeeally ugly) I pulled out a journal and started writing. At the top of a page in my journal I wrote: 5 Years. I had 5 years until I turned 40 and I wanted to make them count.
I decided on 5 Things In 5 Years.
Invest in myself and complete my coaching certification.
Impact the lives of 5000 people.
Write a book.
Own a home.
Stay in an over the water bungalow.
The January following my birthday I enrolled in coaching school. It was a massive investment including a grueling 7-day immersion training in California where every damn one of the 20 people enrolled with me cried our faces off at some point, followed by months of strict practicing, live calls, business development education and finally a multi-hour test and coaching session to be graded by master coaches from across the globe. It was a pass or fail decision. You either know what you're doing, or you fail. I passed. Best damn money I’ve ever spent. If I never coach a single person it was worth its weight in gold to be able to coach myself while processing trauma, depression and epic events in the following years. Mission accomplished spring 2016.
5000 people = 5 years x 365 days/year = 1825 days. 5000 people impacted in 1825 days = just 3 people a day to exceed my goal. Honestly, I have no idea if I actually met this goal because we almost never know when we’ve impacted someone else BUT, I ASSURE YOU, I woke up every single day with the INTENTION to impact the lives of others in any way I could. Every interaction, large or small, is an opportunity to give of yourself. Do it.
I will confess I did not meet the goal to write a book, however, it’s in the works! I’ve poured days into a single page. I coached via email, phone, text, in an office, in the car, over dinner, in a meeting, after a meeting, in the hallway between meetings. The book is there, it’s just not all on paper yet. I will achieve this goal one day!
For me, owning a house didn't have anything to do with having made an investment and being able to paint the walls anything but the awful "builder-beige" that seemed to permeate every apartment complex in North Texas. You'll note, I didn't write I wanted to own a house. I wanted to own a HOME. The place where I knew I was safe. Where I was grounded. Where I recharged and reconnected. I wanted a home where other people felt love, joy and comfort. I wanted a home. Mission accomplished in May 2018.
The day I set the goal to stay in an over the water bungalow I also set my screensaver to an image I wanted to see with my own eyes. Every day (lots of times a day) I saw over-the-water, thatch-covered huts on crystal-clear blue water to remind myself of my dream.
Fast forward a minute. Add Blaze, Caramel Popcorn and POOF-WHALLA. Dreams really do come true. First and foremost, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I am worthy, wanted, and loved without conditions. And he made the ultimate dream come true agreeing to an over the water bungalow to celebrate our honeymoon and, with strategic scheduling, to make it happen just a few days before I turn 40.
Set backs are just a set UP for something better.
Five years ago I was sad. Today I'm realizing a dream that God put on my heart and came out in my journal on my 35th birthday. Use your lessons to do better next time. Lean into your fear and push forward. Even the most breathtaking flower had to push through the dark, cold dirt to fully bloom. So will you.
Yes. You. Can.